Six weeks ago on Monday I quit smoking and three weeks ago on Monday I quit refreshing the toxins in my spirit too.
So in the last two weeks my flesh has gone absolutely nuts trying to get me to restore its altered normal.
I haven't had a pimple in years, so guess what? Yep, my chin and forehead.
I've had a cold sore twice in 51 years; so guess what I've been fighting right smack in the middle of my top lip for the past week?
My feet, calves, and hands have swollen so large my big shoes are tight and I can't get my bracelets on past my knuckles. I have packed on 15 pounds in 12 days.
Everything in my flesh has wanted to reach for a cigarette or lash out with bitter anger. But I'm not going there. And I'm not accepting all these attacks lying down either.
Those pimples were gone in a day. I spoke the Word over them. I don't do pimples. My history is one a month, like a calling card announcing the imminent arrival of a friend. Menopause has severed that friendship so I'm not putting up with a pimple; much less multiple visitors.
That's when this cold sore started trying me. I kept it anointed with OTC ointment and the Word and the lip has swollen a bit but all week it never busted through. I could feel the little nerve tingles hinting it would like to bust out with a shingles episode but I'm not going there. Yesterday, since I was not letting it be seen, it tried to erupt on the inside of the lip. Nope, not going to come out there either.
I finally had a short talk with myself yesterday when I could feel how swollen my calves were up to my knees. I reminded myself of what had struck me in Pastor's Wednesday night teaching. The Power Gifts (Faith, Healing, Miracles) all require us to stretch beyond what is seen, beyond what we know, beyond what we think and feel.
But I also reminded myself that love and forgiveness have to be stirred into that recipe as well if you want to activate any of the Gifts of the Spirit.
I had to look at how I have put someone I dearly love out of my life completely. It was necessary for me to do this because any sight or sound of him, any in-my-face evidence of the way things are between us undoes me. I could cry a river and I cannot think when confronted with him so I avoid anything that brings about a mental or emotional as well as physical confrontation with him.
But I had to open my spirit else I could not find the forgiveness I need or the love he needs. I can't see him or talk to him or acknowledge him in my flesh or it hurts my soul, I am reminded however, what I wrote myself in this very blog. I can pray as effectively from China as I can in the same room. I was talking about physical presence in that post, but the principle still applies.
I have no strength to fight this person and everything in my spirit rebels that I should need or want to fight him. But I can fight the enemy who is the real enemy. I choose to forgive. I choose to love. I choose to pray. I choose to trust the unseen. I choose to believe the promises of God. And not just for me, but for him; for my house also.
I'm not having pimples, cold sores, broken hearts, broken relationships, swollen limbs, excess weight, financial burdens -- I'm not having any of it.
So I started my day yesterday and today in praise, in the Word, and I can feel the joy as my spirit hums happily and occasionally chuckles.
My poor flesh is fighting even as my organs are processing out the toxins of nicotine and smoke, years of a bad diet and bad lifestyle choices, and negative bad thoughts and ways of thinking.
But as the song says, I'm not going back. I'm moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you, my past is over. In Christ, all things are made new. I surrender my life. I'm moving forward.
Now I have to get moving.
The inside of my lip is smooth. Only one foot is swollen today. 10 minutes on the treadmill at max incline will resend yesterday's message to that stubborn appendage. And I continue to pray for that person I was created to help meet his purpose.
I am where God has purposed me to be. I am doing what God has purposed me to do. All the enemy can do is make noise; all my flesh can do is complain. I abide under the wings of the Most High. He's on point and He's got rearguard.
I think I'm going to go get a manicure this morning. My hands belong to Him, too.
I'm praying for the followers of Christ: old and new. The battle never stops because the enemy is a pig -- and that is an insult to pigs I know, but the war is won and the battle is yours.
Just don't give up. Refuse to accept even what you can see, feel, hear, smell, and taste. Stick with what you know. Speak those things that be not as though they be. Don't listen to anyone who tells you anything different from the Word and what He says no matter how kind their intentions or good their heart.
Remember God says His Word accomplishes what He says. It does not go out void. It does not return empty. Trust His Word over everything you see or hear or feel or think. Don't let anything or anyone persuade you to anything else.
Be sure the enemy will attack.
Then watch God manifest those Power Gifts of Faith, Healing, and Miracles.
He does seem to particularly enjoy snatching victory right out of the enemy's jaws and He does love to show off.
So use me, LORD. Thank You for the opportunity to learn, to grow, --- and to kick the enemy's....donkey. :)
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