A very dear friend engaged me in a conversation about Romans 9 and the sovereignty of God day before yesterday. Reading 1 John 2 this morning I found myself wading through the same thoughts and queries. How do we bring to bear our understanding on grace and law, on faith and obedience? How do we absorb the seeming contradictions?
We are saved by grace through faith, but we are exhorted to obedience and taught if we do not obey then we are a liar when we say we know the LORD for He is not in us. I have often wondered about this. If we are saved by grace, then do we have to get to work to stay saved or to prove our salvation is real? Why is this obedience so strongly impressed upon us as a crucial part of discipleship when it seems to be a contradiction to grace?
I think obedience is a means for us to test ourselves. Perhaps obedience is a way we can strive to understand God and to train ourselves in the pursuit of getting to know Him. Perhaps it is the striving to be obedient that is how we grow ourselves; much as exercise is how we develop our muscles and build our endurance.
I do not strive to obey because I think God will not love me if I do not. I do not want to obey because I fear God will forget me or determine my salvation was an error. I want to obey God because I love Him and because I trust Him. I know that He does not make rules for the sake of rules. He is not a control freak who must enforce His will to prove to me that He is able or because He has some need to have everyone bow to Him.
His rules, His commandments, commands, exist because this world is a dangerous place and Adam sub-let it to the enemy. God's rules will guide me through by the safest route. They provide the safest path in a world where nowhere is safe; except beneath His wings. Abiding in Him I can come to no harm.
In a raging, killer storm, the disciples got so frightened they awoke Jesus. He rebuked them for their lack of faith but He calmed the storm. He had told them they were going to the other side and since they were not yet at the other side, the storm was really irrelevant.
But I also see that they had enough sense to know that He was the One they needed in the storm. They woke Him knowing He could take care of the problem causing their fears. And though He did rebuke them, He also did calm the storm.
Thinking on that in the context of obedience, I think I am comforted. I should be obedient. I know I want to be obedient; not out of fear or self-righteousness, but as an act of love.
I love Jesus, I love Father, I love the Holy Spirit living in me. I want to please God because I love Him. I am grateful for His love and all that He does for me; only beginning with Salvation, and I want to obey Him, I want to abide in Him, I want to live in His presence. Not for what He can do for me, but just to be with Him.
So striving to be obedient, wanting to be obedient, is obedience; even when we fail by commission or omission. God sees into our heart. When we disobey or fail to obey or get out of His will, we still know Who is our source; we still want to obey; we still try to obey. We are still turning in the boat to wake Him up and say, "Hey! Over here! Do you see what is going on?"
And yes, He rebukes us, but it is not rebuking us for sinning, for not being obedient. He is rebuking us for thinking He does not know our hearts, for thinking He is not able, for thinking He would ever forsake us or leave us.
And even when He rebukes us, He still calms that storm. Even though now we know we were safe in that boat all along no matter how that storm raged and no matter how that storm pointed out how puny were our sailing skills-- He still put it down.
So when I mess up, when I fail, when I am not obedient, I am going to just look over at Jesus and know that storm can not harm me because He is with me. My skills may be ineffective and leave me at the mercy of the storm, but I am not dependent upon my skills. I abide in the LORD where no storm can harm me. In His time, if and when He wants to do so, all He has to say is, "Peace, be still." and that storm has to subside.
But if He doesn't-- then that storm, even manufactured out of my own disobedience or foolishness, cannot harm me as long as I don't leave the boat or lose sight of my Master. And always, through every screw-up, every loss, every heartache and bad judgement call -- through every storm my sailing skills are improving.
As long as I want to be obedient and strive to be obedient, I will learn and continue on the path of becoming better at it; lessening the storms brewed in my life. Because I can never lose my Salvation. He will never leave me and all I have to do is strive for Him, turn to Him, want Him, and He will always be near.
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